Category: Fear

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Comparing apples and junk food

Comparing apples and junk foodThe DRS Walking around at work today, I had an apple in my hand, and I thought to myself: “Wow, I used to struggle so much with simply get up and eat! Now I have an apple, and that’s pretty healthy. Or so they say.” Getting myself to eat healthy is […]

Head spinning

Head spinningThe DRS When I was using and drinking, the spins were usual and to be expected. The substances were the culprits that made me more prone to losing things, forgetting others and needing to pretend that it was others’ faults for my general state of confusion. Nowadays, it is a little different. Nowadays, I […]

Fear and dishonesty

Fear and dishonestyThe DRS I wrote a little while ago about different sayings that basically stipulate that if your first thought is about drinking or using, it is wrong. (Insertlink) These thoughts also apply to working through shame, guilt, and ultimately fear. Let me explain with a story. The other day I lost the company […]

A date

A dateForeBrain Porn It is through dating that I understand that my issues with addiction come from much deeper seated problems. Addiction is generally known as a manifestation of more profound hurting. My past and present views on dating and relationships are just another manifestation of them all. Innately, I feel alone, like I’m not […]

Self promotion and rejection

Self promotion and rejectionForeBrain Porn A few months ago I started a business, and then a few months later I started another one. Of course, I got nervous both times, and even though I have them under my belt now I still get nervous about them. They are a whole part of me as I […]

Gym goals and self defeat

Gym goals and self defeatForeBrain Porn I’ve always liked going to the gym. I’ve also always liked playing sports, not watching, but playing. I was at the gym for the first time in a while last night, and I was talking to a friend who was writing down all of his progress and what have […]

Owning up

Owning upForeBrain Porn I don’t know how to start this one, other than with the story itself. I was walking out of a building for a client when i got a message from a friend: “Call me ASAP”. I had 4% battery life left on the phone, and some time so I called and arranged […]

Receiving threats

Receiving threatsForeBrain Porn This morning I woke up to find a note on my car that says: “Do not park here anymore or your car will be towed”. I was surprised because I’ve been living next door and parking there for over a week and half now. I’m annoyed that no one left their phone […]

Self-doubt

Self-doubtForeBrain Porn A few days ago, I wrote about “A new feeling” which was excitement, and I felt it alright, but for some reason just like a comedown feelings ebb and flow. With regards to that project I have been working on, I am in a pretty low mood. I am feeling uncertain, discouraged, lost […]

Geographical Cure – A false hope in recovery

Geographical Cure – A false hope in recoveryForeBrain Porn Trying to start over in a New Location The notion of a fresh start someplace new could be an appealing idea to most people on a good day. To people afflicted by trauma, addiction, etc., it can be particularly attractive! Especially to those individuals who feel […]

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